Deep in the Heart of Texas

Being the travel junkies we are, David and I love the adventurous reality show The Amazing Race.  When my parents were in town last spring to pick Elizabeth up from UT, we watched the Season 26 finale together.  The final episode took place in Dallas, and as we were watching, my mom remarked, ‘I’ve never been to Dallas before.’  WHAT?!  How could she have lived in Texas for 15 years and never been to Dallas?  We vowed then and there that we would take a road trip to Dallas together.  And what better time to go than during the great Texas State Fair?!

Texas has the largest state fair in the country, with Minnesota coming in at a close second.  Of course my parents have been to the Minnesota fair many times, so this year it was time to try out Texas’s.  More than 3 million people visit the fair in Dallas every year and in 2015, Dad, Mom, Elizabeth, David, and I were going to be five of them.

David and I used to visit the fair every year during the Red River Rivalry football game between Texas and Oklahoma.  It was always on my birthday weekend, so every bday I celebrated while attending UT was spent in Dallas at the fairgrounds.  This year, we decided to avoid the craziness around Texas / OU weekend and visit during opening weekend instead.

My parents flew into Austin earlier in the week, and on Friday evening, we piled into my car for the short road trip to Dallas.  We stopped at the famous Czech bakery, Czech Stop, on the way there to pick up kolaches and other goodies for a midnight snack. 

This was just the start of eating So. Much. Food.

The Texas state fair is known for its food… its fried food.  Vendors will literally fry anything, and of course we had to try it all!  The only disappointment was that every stand was out of fried Coca-Cola.  I was really looking forward to trying a fried liquid, but it wasn’t meant to be.

We arrived right as the gates opened at 10:00 the next morning.  We had avoided the crowds and were able to get on a lot of the rides in the midway without waiting in line.  Texas has a great system in place that requires fairgoers to purchase tickets instead of using cash to go on rides or buy food, so even late into the night, when the fair was at its most crowded, the lines were short and sweet.

We rode a couple of terrifying rides, and then it was on to our first culinary pick, fried butter!

I was not looking forward to fried butter at all, but I knew I had to try it.  We ordered one serving and split it between the five of us.  It’s essential that you pop the entire ball of butter into your mouth and eat it all at once, as the butter will ooze out if you try to just take one bite at a time.  So Dad and David went for it.  And then it was the girl’s turn. 

The fried ball of butter exploded in my mouth, and scalding hot melted butter poured down my throat.  Pure melted butter.  We basically drank melted butter.  Even though I love butter, it was disgusting.

After the fried butter debacle, we ordered a fried Reese’s peanut butter cup with soft serve ice cream.  It was delicious, and the creamy ice cream got that nasty butter taste out of my mouth.

It was still too early for lunch, so we walked to the livestock arena to check out the horses, pigs, goats, and longhorns.

On the way there, we saw a toothbrush station where state fair goers were literally standing around brushing their teeth, with the toothbrushes and toothpaste provided by one of the fair’s sponsors.  It sounds strange, but when the main attraction at your state fair is the crazy variety of food, it’s nice to cleanse your palate (literally!).

After saying hi to all of the friendly farm animals, we grabbed a few beers and summery ciders in the wine and beer garden, and watched the dog show.  

Then... it was time for lunch!

We shared… a chili cheese dog, two corn dogs, lemonade, root beer, fried Frito pie bites, death-by-chocolate fudge, jerky, corn on the cob, and award-winning cowboy crunch (fried creamed corn with bacon, jalapeno, and cheese).  Elizabeth ordered a giant virgin pina colada in a pineapple, and I washed it all down with a smoky bacon margarita.

Only Elizabeth could pull off a crop top at the state fair, 

eating copious amounts of food and not gaining a pound! 

Next, Dad wanted to check out the car show.  When I heard ‘car show,’ I thought old-timey cars.  The car show at the TX State Fair, though, is two huge exposition centers filled with Fords, Nissans, Toyotas, etc.  Dad wanted to shop for Mom’s next Toyota.  This was perfect timing.  I literally locked myself in one of the sedans, stretched out on the backseat, and took a nap (or food coma … let’s be honest, I fell into a food coma).

Elizabeth later fell into a food coma at the relaxation room.  We found this hidden gem in the center building.  The room was filled with comfy couches, computers, charging stations, TVs, and free bottled water.  We took a quick break from the heat to enjoy the A/C and watch a bit of the UT football game, when next thing we knew, Elizabeth was sound asleep. 

We woke her up to explore the rest of the building, which included a music expo featuring Texas musicians. 

We had fun onstage pretending to be rock stars 

Dad and David wanted to finish watching the Longhorn game, so they headed to a bar while Mom, Elizabeth, and I checked out more expositions.  We got some free ice cream cones at the dairy, and then made our way to the bar.  

Then... it was time for our second lunch!

We ordered spicy jalapeno cheese sticks (too spicy for everyone except David), fried stuffed olives, a loaded barbeque baked potato, and an apple strudel and a chocolate-covered banana for dessert. 

After a terrible, terrible loss to Oklahoma State, we decided to drown our sorrows in the screams of frightened children back at the midway.

We rode ride after ride.  I wasn’t feeling so hot after all of that food, so I skipped out on the upside rides.  Mom and David were with me, but Dad wasn’t about to make Elizabeth go by herself.  So those two had the time of their lives, while we recorded the fun.

One of the scarier rides, that I wasn’t really expecting to be that scary, was the Hang-Glider.  David, Elizabeth, and I basically lied down, side-by-side, on our stomachs on a stretcher, had a bar placed over our backs, and were lifted up into the air to fly around in circles above the crowd.  The scary thing was, we were facing down the entire time and not strapped into anything at all.  If the stretcher material tore open, we’d fall face-first onto the pavement 20 feet below.  I tried not to think about it.

Dad was obsessed with finding a haunted house attraction.  He has fond memories of the haunted house ride at the Minnesota State Fair and wanted to experience the Texas equivalent.  We finally did find it, but it was a huge disappointment!  It cost way too many tickets, only lasted about 30 seconds, and wasn’t scary or even exciting.  At all.

The final ride of the evening more than made up for the haunted house.  It was a terrifying, giant pendulum that swung riders all the way around, and hung them upside down from the highest point.  I did not want to go upside down, but David needed a partner to ride with and Mom sure as hell wasn’t getting on that thing.  (Dad and Elizabeth were already in line, of course, ready to be strapped in.)

There were no safety seat belts on the ride, just a shoulder harness.  The harness was so loose on me, that once we got upside down, I was literally suspended in the air.  The only thing holding me in was the harness on my shoulders.  It was petrifying. 

From there, we left the midway, skipped the parade, and headed back to the main entrance to watch the water / dance show and fireworks.  

Then… it was time for dinner! 

I was so full at this point that I was feeling nauseous.  But I was so excited to try the fried spaghetti and meatball dinner, and the Thanksgiving dinner.  Both won awards for originality and taste, and both were so delicious that I forgot how stuffed I was and chowed down!

The parsley on top of the fried spaghetti and meatballs 

was the only green I saw all day     

Many people have asked about the fried Thanksgiving dinner, which was the unanimous favorite of the day.  To fry a Thanksgiving dinner, take turkey, stuffing, and creamed corn, and mix together before rolling in cornmeal and deep-frying.  The giant balls of fried goodness are served with gravy and cranberry dipping sauces to complete the meal.

After all of that, we still had a few tickets left, so Elizabeth ordered a plate of fried pickles, and Dad bought a fair oldie-but-goodie, taffy.  Mom and I were done.

It was a great day at the fair, but our trip to Dallas wasn’t over yet!  We had a couple of stops to make on Sunday on our way home.

First, we visited Dealey Plaza, the site of the JFK assassination.  We took in the history by walking across the grassy knoll and driving over the two X’s where the president was shot. 

About halfway to Austin, we stopped for gas and snacks at Buc-ee’s.  Buc-ee’s is the largest gas station I’ve ever been to.  It’s known throughout Texas for having clean bathrooms, cheap gas, and an array of food and home goods. 

David with his new best friend, Buc-ee the Beaver

Our trip to the state fair was a huge success.  Now David and I need to make a trip up to Minnesota in the summer to experience the second-largest fair in the country… and watch farm animals give birth?!